YaknowhatImean?
Every once in a while a day comes along that totally kicks my ass. A day when all the forced optimism in the world isn't enough to keep away all annoyance and frustration with the little inconveniences that life throws one's way. To make matters worse, they're usually minor things in and of themselves, but they band together and beat me repeatedly about the head. None of them are big enough to complain about, but damn if they don't put me in a foul mood.
Editing to add: I fixed my mood with knitting retail therapy. I finally broke down and ordered the book, yarn, and needles to knit Eunny Jang's "Autumn Rose" pullover. I've been coveting this sweater for half of forever, and lo and behold the book was on sale 40% off at Knit Picks. I kept putting it off because I have all sorts of other things here to knit/spin, but the call of color work got too loud to think over. I will now return to my regularly scheduled sock.
Editing again: Okay, what's really under my skin is the fact that I had an appointment at the Midwife center that got all munged up by traffic and apparently I'm a Luddite because I don't carry a cell phone but anyway the longer I stew about it the more I realize what had me worked up more than feeling looked down on for not being a pregnant woman or a woman with a cell phone or a magical flying car is the fact that deep down in my hormonal heart of hearts is the unpractical but powerful wish to be planning adding a third child to our family. I'm not ready for that. Mr. Unreserved is not ready for that. We may never be ready for that. The jury is still very much out. But being in the building where both girls were born, the site of all the prenatal checkups, the building where I was so full of anticipation and excitement and squirming unborn person not once but twice hit me right in the gut.
Editing to add: I fixed my mood with knitting retail therapy. I finally broke down and ordered the book, yarn, and needles to knit Eunny Jang's "Autumn Rose" pullover. I've been coveting this sweater for half of forever, and lo and behold the book was on sale 40% off at Knit Picks. I kept putting it off because I have all sorts of other things here to knit/spin, but the call of color work got too loud to think over. I will now return to my regularly scheduled sock.
Editing again: Okay, what's really under my skin is the fact that I had an appointment at the Midwife center that got all munged up by traffic and apparently I'm a Luddite because I don't carry a cell phone but anyway the longer I stew about it the more I realize what had me worked up more than feeling looked down on for not being a pregnant woman or a woman with a cell phone or a magical flying car is the fact that deep down in my hormonal heart of hearts is the unpractical but powerful wish to be planning adding a third child to our family. I'm not ready for that. Mr. Unreserved is not ready for that. We may never be ready for that. The jury is still very much out. But being in the building where both girls were born, the site of all the prenatal checkups, the building where I was so full of anticipation and excitement and squirming unborn person not once but twice hit me right in the gut.
Don't feel weird about that. I wanted a baby yesterday because I saw a picture of myself as a kid with my mom.
Posted by
Dr. Goat |
2:21 PM